Must See!

Alright.
Some of these made me laugh. Some of them made me think. Some of them made me cry. But all of them have made it onto my MUST SEE list of pointless websites.

Here is yet another reason why you shouldn't piss off your exes.

Further proof that today's kids are going down the shitter.

Finally something we can all be good at.

Possibly the FUNNIEST email ever written.

I don't even know what this is about.

And if you thought that last one was weird, God, don't bother viewing this one. Especially not after any meals. I should include an advisory: This is possibly the scariest thing you will ever see. Ever. ENJOY!

That's all for now. Stay tuned for more SOLID GOLD moments.

But Somebody's Gotta Do It...

12:30 p.m.
Getting out of bed feels like such a chore, but I must wake my little sister up and make her do the dishes. Otherwise, mom will come home and yell at us because the dishes aren't done. And I sure as hell ain't doing the dishes, but I also sure as hell don't want to see my mom's impression of a banshee again.

12:34 p.m.
Sonja won't get out of bed.
1, 2 Step is on the radio. Maybe I'll do a little dance - around.

12:35 p.m.
God. My thigh hurts. I just rammed into my damned drawer. I told George I wasn't going to run into things anymore after I bruised my ribs last week running into the wall between the kitchen and the stairs, but that promise was doomed from the start... I mean, a wall between me and food? Not a good idea. Who designed this house anyway?
"Why did you run into your drawer, Dunja?" you may ask, "I thought you fixed it months ago?"
Well yes, friends, it was fixed months ago, but since it stuck out for like three months before that, I'm used to it not being able to close. So I haven't been closing it lately. Leaving myself with plenty of opportunities to run into it. Sigh.

1:00 p.m.
This spaghetti is horrible. My dad made it yesterday. Except he made it with Fettucini pasta. If the dish "Spaghetti" is made with fetuccini pasta, is it still technically spaghetti? Or is it now fettucini? Or is it a hybrid? Like fetughetti? Or Spaghacini? I'll bet this is how Italians came up with all their words, just mixing other words together. Hee hee. Anyway, that's not the reason this tastes so horrible. Dad put parsley in it for a "kick". What on earth? Is this what old people do to inject excitement into their mundane lives? Do me a favour and if, at any time, I put parsley into a dish where parsley TOTALLY doesn't work for a "change", please, shoot me, and write "died the minute her life got so boring she had to put parsley into spaghetti to spice things up" on my tombstone. I know it's a little wordy, and will probably cost you muchos dinero to have it engraved, but I will wave up at you from hell. Bonus! Anyway, I only ate a bit of the spaghetti yesterday because it's bad, and I wasn't planning on eating any of it ever again, but I'm soooo hungry. And it's between this and like... making myself a sandwich. And I'm lazy. So stupid spaghetti it is. :(

2:00 p.m.
Maybe I'll read for my class. A bit. I don't want to exert myself.

4:00 p.m.
Phoney phone phone phone.

6:30 p.m.
My mom "needs" the phone to call her "husband" because it's their "anniversary". How lame.

6:35 p.m.
Phoney phone phone phone.

7:00 p.m.
MSN: A synopsis: Whatcha doing tonight? Nothing. You? Nothing. Cool. Yeah, cool. We should do something. No, I'd rather do nothing. Alright. Yeah. Cool. Cool. Later. Later.

8:00 p.m.
Movie movie movie.

10:00 p.m.
God. That movie was SO sad. Don't ever watch "Stand By Me" without a box of Kleenex handy.
Sonja is laughing at me. She's so evil. She doesn't even feel the plight of people with no friends. Ex. Me. If she pierces her lip, I'll personally kill her. (Last bit = sidenote.)

11:00 p.m.
It's days like this that make getting out of bed seem like such a chore. It's a tough job...

Some Kind of Record

I saw Ridhima and Tanya today for the first time in months. Yayayayaya! Those girls always make me smile. Mainly because they laugh at all my jokes. Even the really lame ones.
Which brings me to why I'm here:

What do you call cheese that's not yours?
Nacho cheese.

What do UofT students and York students have in common?
They all got in to York.

What does Snoop Dog use to wash his clothes with?
Bleatch.

How many York students does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
One. But s/he gets a credit for it.

Thank you to Min Ku for the minutes of SOLID GOLD entertainment in the South Building Meeting Place today. Honestly, I think the entire university now knows that I am completely cracked out, because I could NOT stop laughing when he told me these jokes.
There's two more good ones, really good ones, but you have to tell them in person. So watch out. I'll be bombarding you with them when I see you next.

Oh yeah: for those who know: NOT REALLY!!

In less important news, I got a job today. Yayayaya. It's at the Dry Cleaning place across the street from me. Very convenient. And I will finally get to see HOW they do it. Muahaha. Watch out for Dunja's version of "The World's Best Kept Secrets: Revealed."

That's all. I've been severely creatively drained lately. I dunno what's up. I think it's because I have less time to be bored now, what with school and reading stuff and sleeping and whatnot, and as a result I have less time to think up retarded things to write about. Yeah. That's it.

This has been the fastest blog ever by me. 6 minutes. Some kind of record.
Over and out.

Say What?!

My Weekend: The Abridged Version

Friday, Nelly and I decide to superglue a quarter to the floor of the Eaton Center and observe the strugglers from an upper story. Well, Nelly decided... and then spent 2 hours trying to convince me, finally succeeding because I couldn't come up with any better ideas. (For a more detailed account of what trespassed in the early afternoon on Friday, see Nelly's blog. )It was pretty humorous.
Then Adam and I braved the cold... sooooo cold. I kept saying "My ears are frozen" which I'm sure got annoying after the 500th time. But not before the 500th. Before the 500th it was endearing.
Then during dinner, Yang called and said, "Hey, I'll come pick you up and we'll chill." So I said, "Okay." So Yang came and picked us up after dinner, and we met his friend Ray, and we all went and played pool. Because Adam is a manipulative meany. Lots of homo-erotic jokes ensued between Ray and Yang (ex. tap it in), which made me wonder, but not too much because (as we all know), boys are weird.

Saturday I chilled with my parents in the morning, which was creepy to say the least. Sometimes they're so cool, and other times they're so... not. Like when I got home on Friday night. My mom was all like "Staying out of the house for 10 hours at a time is not normal." What?! She clearly doesn't realize how annoying my sister can get.
As evening approached and the weather got progressively worse and worse, I stayed determined to go out to Palazzo to appease Zeebs. She's scary when she's mad. We all ended up going out, and I got a Victoria's Secret present out of it, so getting groped by weird random gross guys was totally worth it. (Well actually, not really, but it's called "Cognitive Dissonance Reduction" and it's when you try to justify doing something you didn't really enjoy doing by convincing yourself that you actually did enjoy doing it. Or something. I'll tell you before my social psych exam what it is for sure.) It was cool chilling with Zeebs and Robin and Paul though. Those peeps are true-blue. (Except for when Paul won't let me pet him or pinch his cheeks. God that sounds SO BAD. But it's not. You just had to be there. And you weren't. Unless you were. In which case, it doesn't sound that bad. The end.)

Sunday was "hangover" day. I'd promised Yang I'd go catch a movie with him, so even though I was totally exhausted and probably ended up being a horrible companion as a result of my hangover-ness and exhausted-ness, I finally did it. (I've been cancelling on him for like a week, which I felt really damned bad about... but my days just haven't been working for me lately... mainly because all I REALLY wanna do is read and sleep.)We saw "In Good Company". Don't waste your money. It wasn't that hot.

Then today, back to class, and it turns out to be a complete waste of time. Not just the class time, but the time in between too:
I got called a cradle robber. Which was strange for more than one reason. 1)The guy I was apparently "robbing" (is that how you'd say it? Well whatever. You know what I mean...) is only a year younger than me. And 2) (And this is the really GOOD reason) it's not like I was ACTUALLY flirting with him or anything of the sort. Roselle is just on crack. Oooh, crazy Rosey. *Shakes head*
Then I listened to about 2 hours of homo-erotica (in addition to the 2 I already had this weekend) thanks to some brand new friends. What is up with guys and penis? I even witnessed a pool cue being shoved up some guy's butt. (Neither of the people involved was known to me. Thank the Lord.) It was so disturbing. Furthermore, dubbing "Good Will Hunting" to the theme of "Jumbo Mo" has forever ruined that movie for me. Thanks a lot. (It's a long story.)

The only good part of today was when the boys were really nice and waited for me to get out of class. Awww my boys. *Single tear* :)And then Taimur calls me to tell me about how he slipped on a patch of ice and fell and made a giant ass of himself in front of a whole bunch of people, including a cute girl. I couldn't stop laughing on the bus. People were looking at me sooooo strange, but it was so hilarious the way he described it. And if you know Taimur, you know that shocked expression he has? I just kept picturing him falling on his ass with that look on his face. Oh god. I laughed long after I hung up the phone. SOLID GOLD.

Tomorrow, I sleep.

Googly Freddie

Ramiro is my hero. I don't think I've ever come across anyone that timed his appearances so well with my disappointments and then encouraged me to talk about why I was feeling shitty to this degree. And he says the nicest things after you're done venting, so that you really don't feel shitty at all by the time you're through. It's so great.

I used to have another friend like that, but then he became a DITCHER.

Haha. That started out as an attempt to sing someone's praises and turned into a way to make someone else feel guilty. I truly am my mother's daughter.

Yesterday I felt really bad for Vincent Alfonso (a.k.a. my sister's goldfishy that my parents don't know about) because he was living in a putrid dirty mess of a fishbowl. So I cleaned it all for him nicey nice. And since it was -a billion degrees C, I also added some warm water so that he didn't freeze to death. You should've seen how much happier he became. He was all swimming around and smiling. (In my mind's eye. I don't think he can actually smile. Poor thing.) It was so cute. :) I renamed him Googly Freddie with the help of Adam because his eyes are really googly and Freddie is a cute name. And then I put him in my room because my sister obviously doesn't care about him the way I do. She was upset for a whole 2.5 seconds. I think I should get him a friend so that he's not all lonesome in there when I have to go to school tomorrow. Gosh. School interferes with everything, even inter-species relations in an attempt to make the world a better place. I'd protest, but I only have school twice a week and all that work really doesn't seem worth it for 2 extra days of rest and relaxation. I'll leave the protesting to the suckers who are at school 6 times a week. Those suckers. Muahahaha.

Are You Home Yet?

My sister needs to get famous so that I can be Ashlee to her Jessica (Simpson). Check out her song lyrics on her LiveJournal .
I got that coffee mug today. And then started thinking that it'll probably take about a billion more years for IT to decompose than it would take for a million paper cups to decompose. But it's too late to go back now. I tried to be environmentally friendly, and foiled my own plan... as usual. BUT I found a loophole. I guess ONE plastic cup decomposing for a billion years is better than a million paper cups decomposing for 3 years each. Additionally, if I pass the plastic cup down to my kids, and they pass it down to their kids, and assuming we go through a million paper cups on average in our lifetime (clearly not the case, but work with me), I figure that's at least 3 million less paper cups in the trash decomposing for at least 3 years. Hopefully that's good enough. Also, with the advances in genetic engineering and whatnot, I'm sure they'll come up with a bacteria pretty soon that decomposes plastic and styrofoam in the blink of an eye. So just watch for that. That'd be hot. Unless the bacteria somehow got out of a contained area (and really, how would you contain bacteria? You can't. That's why people die of E. coli.) and started decomposing EVERYTHING that was plastic and that'd just be trouble. There'd go my keyboard and my phone and my water bottle and all of those IV baggy thingies and my helmet. God. Why do I have a helmet? And probably if this hypothetical bacteria (or at least we THINK it's hypothetical because the governments hides these sorts of things from us... Ever seen "Men In Black"?) could decompose plastic in the blink of an eye, there'd be something else severely wrong about them, so they might do even more harm. What harm I don't know. But I'll bet it'd be bad. Really bad. Bad enough to make a movie out of titled "Apocolypse Now" based on a true story... although I think that title is already taken. By a crappy movie (not based on a true story), no doubt. And my movie would be way better. But really, I was trying to be optimistic and then I went off on this tangent and just screwed myself and then started making no sense. Why do I do that all the time?
Anyways... this morning I waited 10.6 seconds for my bus to get to where I was waiting for it and take me to school. This is an especially good thing on a day like today because an additional 0.4 seconds would've resulted in my nose falling clear off of my face since it was -16 C with the windchill. And I like my nose just where it is, thank you. Tomorrow's going to be even worse (-34 C) so I might have to cancel on that movie with Freezy. Wow. How apt and ironic her name becomes when it's COLD outside ("COLD" being a severe understatement).
Mummy made DELICIOUS lasagna tonight. So delicious it's worth mentioning in the blog. I had an extra serving. Packing on the pounds for the winter season, one might say. Very cheesy (the lasagna. Well, what I said was pretty cheesy too, but I was referring to the lasagna). Very "bon".
Oh god, it just came back to me. I said possibly the stupidest thing I've ever said today. And not in this blog entry either. My dad picks me up after school at the bustop on the West Mall and we're pulling into our driveway and I ask him "Are you home?"
Ok. Read the thought process and tell me if this makes sense to anyone BUT me: I'm thinking, we're in my mom's car, there's no car in the driveway, therefore dad's car is either in the garage (if he's home) or he's not home yet. So, if it were my mom in the car, I'd say "Is dad home yet?" But since HE'S in the car with me, and I know it's him, but I CLEARLY haven't REALLY thought this through, I ask, "Are you home yet?" Which is severly retarded by all accounts. He just looks at me and says "Not yet. I will be in about 2 seconds though." Then I start laughing because he's looking at me soooooo weird. And then he goes "Are you high?"
I'm thinking "I wish! That would mean I'm not totally fretarded!"
It was great. And you know how when someone is laughing really hysterically and you don't really find anything all that funny and they're like... dying, and not breathing properly? And you ask them "Are you alright?" Well, this is one of those moments. And no. I am not alright.
The end.

Wanted: 5.4 Extra Earths!

Change is taking over in a big way.
Firstly, I have added a counter to the blog, and I'm getting a lot more hits than anticipated. A tad unnerving. Also a tad inspiring. Perhaps I can start a revolution? Secondly, I received an actual letter in the mail from Nelly, who lives 10 streets down. Pure genius. I hoped to continue the letter exchange as getting mail rocks! (Unfortunately, for reasons discussed further on, this doesn't seem to be a viable option.) Thirdly, I went to a party yesterday and almost passed out from boredom. Granted, it was my little cousin's Sweet Thirteenth, the person closest to my age at the party was 14, and I shouldn't have been expecting much... but it was still way lamer than I ever fathomed a party could be. Fourthly, I actually read for class this weekend. This is such a rare occurrence that my mother crossed herself when she walked into my room and caught me studying. My mother isn't all that religious. She goes to church twice a year because the minister is "handsome" and to show off her new leather (cow killer!) boots to the rest of the congregation (most of whom go for the same reason). So it was doubly significant.
In a (poor) attempt to be more environmentally friendly, I have been walking through my house and switching off lights and appliances and the like for the past week. I also yelled at my mother when she bought those damned "Brush Up" thingies. Good lord. So much waste in the packaging alone. I felt bad about how much garbage I alone create when I realized that I eat out of styrofoam containers way more often than I should (damned environmentally UNFRIENDLY Pub!), and that every day I drink Timmies coffee from a cup that is just thrown out and added to the waste pile we send to Michigan on a daily basis. I am also guilty of using paper towels in the bathroom instead of the hand dryer. :( Then I took the ecological footprint quiz and wanted to shoot myself. According to it, if everyone in the world lived like me, we'd need 6.4 Earths to sustain us! I am way worse than I ever thought I was!
This is when I realized that my mail exchange with Nelly would have to end because it uses up too much paper and email is much more forest-friendly that way... although email uses up electricity, and that's a lot more fossil-fuel unfriendly, so I'll have to weigh the costs at a later date. I vow to buy one of those Timmies mugs so that I don't keep using the damned disposable cups. And I'm never eating out of the Pub again. I'll get my food TO STAY. (Also, I'm going to tell whoever's in charge that they should look into getting some BIODEGRADABLE takeout containers, for Pete's sake!) There will be no more lights left on when no one's in the room in my house, and recycling is coming back in a big way. I made my dad decrease the amount of water used in every toilet flush, so that's a step in the right direction. Now I have to give up 20 minute showers. There will be a severe decrease in the purchasing of anything "disposable". No more "disposable" face towels or toilet brushes. And I shall just continue to use Public Transit for all my transportation needs. Yes, my friends, change is indeed taking over in a big way for me.
I encourage you to also start looking into living as if though we didn't have 5.4 extra Earths just lying around... mainly because we don't.

CTRL+F Tomal

Tomal is a giant nerd who wanted his name mentioned in my blog for some unfathomable reason, (perhaps the widespread readership (major sarcasm) and fame that follows as a result? (Wow, brackets within brackets - I'm breaking rules here! I can feel it!)) and since he tried so hard to do something worthwhile (failing in the end, as is generally the case when you try to succeed at something) I have decided to reward his effort rather than his achievement (despite the fact that I'm fostering an ideology that clearly has no basis in reality (hence the term "ideology" you giant idiot named Dunja... man... it's bad when you piss yourself off...)- i.e. that effort ever pays off). I hope that this GIANT run-on sentence (a feat even for me, I assure you) makes some sense to you, the faithful reader. (Named Yang.)
For the record, Tomal's idea of "something worthwhile" was to do a cartwheel in front of over one hundred people, and I thought he was joking until he started to remove his bag from his shoulder in the middle of the Meeting Place. I was like "Uh, if you DON'T do it, I'll put you in the blog." So here it is. Mention of Tomal. The other thing he did was to crack this really lame lame LAME(I cannot emphasize that word enough) joke using "berry" as a substitute for "very" in a sentence. He asked me what I was getting from Timmies and then told me what he always gets (as if I cared): a blueberry bagel with strawberry cream cheese. Then he said "It's berry berry." It was retarded. :S But it got him a mention. Which is what he wanted. Which just goes to show: be retarded around me if you want in the blog! (I suppose I should now mention Slota again because... well... see above for explanation in case you missed it the first time around. Which wouldn't surprise me. As many of you are quite dim-witted. Although brilliant pals. And I thank you and love you and think of you often.)
Unfortunately, despite the fact that "The Tomal Incident" (as it shall hereafter be referred to) was completely retarded, it was the only thing worth mentioning that happened to me today. Oh except for when I ran into Nick Dillolo, Pauly Wally, and Meimuna on the bus this morning... and then Irena came on. It was like a mini-middle school reunion. That Irena ruined with her presence because she didn't go to my middle school. But whatever. She's an old friend too.
Oh, and the other thing worth mentioning (sorta) that happened is something that I can't ACTUALLY mention because too many people read this damned thing. I shall say this, however, and those who speak DUNJACODE can try to decipher it: It involved a boy.
Ok. Well, I leave you with that for today.
Happy trails!

Down With Feathers!

I hate using the computer in the library.
I always feel like someone is reading everything I'm writing over my shoulder.
Maybe that's because they are.
Stop reading what I'm writing. Yes, I'm talking to you weird girl who's reading things over my shoulder.
I guess she's just really curious to find out what my next post is going to be about. I can't blame her (although I certainly don't understand her) since I found out today that Palav reads this thing on a regular basis. And I already knew that Yang read it on a regular basis. And apparently Ramiro does too. I'm sending shouts to all of you. And also lots of pity. *SHAKES HEAD* Because if this is the best way you have to occupy your time... that's bad. There are many better hobbies you could partake in. Take a belly-dancing class. Or learn how to speak French. Or sort through your garbage and separate the recycleables from the non. You could also walk around your house with a lint-roller and pick up any excess lint. Any one of these activities would be more worthwhile.
I'll tell you what wouldn't be more worthwhile than reading my blog, however. If the only alternate activity you can occupy your time with is attending a party that I'm not invited to (*cough* Avon), I suggest missing out on the party and reading my blog instead. Your time will be better spent.
I can guarantee this because there will be no one at the party wearing a lampshade on their head, or tripping over a table and spilling all the snacks on the floor, or finding a sure-fire way to blow every fuse in the fuse-box. And what's a party without a blackout?

I came to an unrelated conclusion today: I think that four years at ESGAY severely warped me because I'm seeing way too many hot guys on campus - and there can't be that many. It's a statistical impossibility. Smart guys aren't cute. Most of the guys here are smart.
I would hate to think what would happen if I went to York. All those stupid, stupid, hot, hot people. I'd need to attach a dish to my chin to collect the drool. So if ever I was considering switching campuses, now I know that I can't. Not if I ever want to leave school. I don't get anything done here as it is, and the hot guy density is like 1 in 100. I would just drool at York. I wouldn't have time to talk or walk or even breathe probably. So coming here is good for me. Until I want to get married.

Well, I have a class in an hour and a half. So I'm off to find another way to kill time. Maybe I'll pull out my handy-dandy lint-roller...
Oh, I just remembered what the inspiration for this post was: My jacket gets feathers all over my clothes. It looks like someone tried to tar and feather me. Minus the tar. It's annoying. :)

Slow Week

I had only two thoughts worth thinking today:

1. Bah. I can't believe I actually have to go and learn tomorrow. Four days without school really is too long. You completely mess up your rhythm, constantly waking up way too late and doing nothing and then staying up late trying to make up for not having done anything all day... It's awesome, but ridiculous all at the same time.

2. This website illustrates to the fullest every complexity of the relations between the races, and gives us all the answers we need in our quest to stop racism.

It has been a really slow week.

Zeebs Is A Boy Hog

2 new additions to my library to complete my Louise Rennison collection. Yah. Ramiro will have quite a bit to read now.
I tried to get Adam to read. But he's a lost cause. Even if it's about hockey.
Then Zeebs called. All wanting to know about my life all of a sudden. Even though yesterday when Paul was getting groped by Daga she was nowhere to be found. And I called her back and she YELLS at me for calling her. She's like "I'm with Adam" but not the non-reading Adam, another Adam, and I'm all like "Dude, you called me." And she's like "Yeah, but that was before Adam got here." And I'm like "Yeah, that was thirty seconds ago." And she proceeds to verbally abuse me. So I'm all like "Gah, I've had enough of this. Put Adam on the phone." So she does. But then she takes the phone away thirty seconds later when I'm in mid-deal with Adam, and she's all like "Back off. This is MY Adam." She's such a hog.
I put in a lot of walking today. And I can't be bothered to type anymore. I think as a result of the walking. Even though that makes no sense. Making sense is overrated.

Also, I'm thinking of taking this up as a hobby.

Your Mom O'Clock

"Flight one-two-two-two-th-th-th-three three three must ma-ma-ma-maintain..."
Haha. My dad's "Flight Simulator" is going insane.
"Mrs! Djubre jedno! Udaces se a ne znas gde je Rijeka!" - Dad to Sonja. For all my Serbian-speaking friends (read: none). Literally translated: "Beat it! Garbage one! Married you but no know where is Rijeka!" Roughly translated: "Beat it! You piece of garbage! You'll get married soon and you don't even know where Rijeka is!" My dad is pretty verbally abusive.
The end.
Do you know what time it is? "It's YOUR MOM o'clock!"
P.S. Dinner was good. So was coffee. For further information, inquire about a Daga siting. Let me just say there was a lot of Paul - groping involved. Haha.

Social Psychology

Topics include:
Mob Mentality - the reason one person yelling "Jump!" to a young man threatening to commit suicide on a college campus in the U.S. turned into a whole crowd yelling "Jump!", and resulted in the death of the man (as well as, presumably, many guilty-feeling folks.)
Also the reason why, during a cheer off between two sides, one being "Tastes better!" the other being "Less filling!", a riot errupted, resulting in overturned cars, smashed windows, sexual assaults, and the trampling of people.
Bystander Apathy - The reason a woman was stabbed multiple times in clear view of 38 witnesses, and none called the police. Also the reason another woman lay unconscious on Fifth Avenue for an hour and a half after having broken her leg, literally passed by thousands, none who stopped to help or call for help.
Groupthink - One of the reasons the space shuttle disaster occurred. People that saw problems with the plan could not challenge the leader or the other group members due to this phenomenon - too much external pressure to conform.
Conformity - The reason why over 75% of people will call a black sheep "white".
Obedience - The reason over 75% of people continued to shock a man despite the fact that he was screaming in pain and yelling that he had a heart condition.
Self-fulfilling Prophecy - The reason you don't study if you think you're going to fail a test to begin with. Most people would rather be right than be successful. Also why preconceptions about people can alter your interaction with them and strengthen your (not necessarily correct) beliefs. If someone tells you someone else is rude before you meet them, you are much more likely to be stand-offish and defensive, eliciting rudeness - an other-fulfilling prophecy elicited by your conscious or subconscious behavior.
Labelling - One of the factors contributing to prejudice and differential treatment based on preconceptions. Why do we call someone with schizophrenia a schizophrenic? To quote Dax "That's the same as calling someone with cancer 'That cancer dude' or people with heart conditions 'Those heart-attack guys'" They're people with a disorder. Not a disorder with a person under it.
Self-serving Bias - The reason 90% of people rate themselves as "good drivers" rather than "average drivers". A logical impossibility. Also the reason no one ever thinks "it" could happen to them. Someone else will get cancer from smoking, someone else will get into an accident whilst driving after drinking, and you will somehow pick the magical numbers that will win you the lottery (probability being 1 in 13, 983, 816 according to *actual* calculations done by me for stats class.)
Fundamental Attribution Errors - The reason we think the person yelling on the bus is an asshole rather than attributing his anger to a really horrid day.
Hindsight Bias - You knew it ALL along, didn't you?

It's gonna be a good course. Je suis... uh... Comment dit on "excited"?

Ah oui, et MERRY CHRISTMAS to all the Eastern Orthodox peeps out there!

Peeing = Waste of Time

I don't want to sound ungrateful or anything. I mean, I realize that many people would kill for functioning kidneys. In fact, many people DO kill for functioning kidneys. It's what the black organ market is all about - kidneys are a hot commodity. But do mine HAVE to be so efficient?
Like, I realize they're maintaining homeostasis and whatnot (keep up the good work guys!), but does this "maintenance" really have to result in me having to go pee twice in one hour? I mean, isn't that a bit much? What about the maintenance of Dunja's sanity? Is that only secondary? Is it just me, or is "peeing" just another one of those activities that takes away from things you'd rather be doing and seems like a complete waste of time? "Pissing the night away" takes on a whole new meaning when you look at it that way. Not only are you pissing due to your drunkeness, but you're pissing away time. Precious time that you could be using to read "The Count of Monte Cristo" (shouts Ramiro!) or playing The Sims 2 or talking on the phone...
And to all those people that take the phone into the washroom with them- STOP IT. That's GROSS.
So's peeing in the shower. Don't do that either.
The end.

Step One: Admit You Have A Problem

Ok, so two weeks of vacation passed and I didn't even blink. I don't even think I missed anyone. I was perfectly content with my new life, moving in new directions. I was excited about new things and new friends and stuff. But then I saw HIM today.
Needless to say, certain people should be banned from Earth. Or at least the school.

Professor Green did the exact rant I knew he would do - I took zero notes. What was I to write? "If you skip class you will DIE!" repeatedly? Because that's all he said. Literally. Repeatedly. Over and over. For an hour. OVER AND OVER.

Ok. So back to HIM.
RECONSTRUCTED INTERNAL MONOLOGUE AT TIME OF SITING:
"Gah. Is that him? Yes, that's him. Wait, is it? Yeah, it is. Oh *person I'm talking to* STOP TALKING! It's HIIIM! Good lord. Why do I even care? Look away! Why do you care? Why is he with them? Why do you care? STOP IT. We should talk. Him and me. Us. And say what? There's nothing to say. I should call him. And say what? Hi... No. I can't. I'm not even supposed to care. STOP LOOKING AT HIM! Stop CARING!"

I need professional help.

Breaking News: Nothing Has Happened!

The good dancer's name is Mike. He called. What are the odds? He lives in New Jersey. Haha. We agreed that next time he's in Toronto and wants to dance, he should give me a call. And that's that.
I talked to the Male Model (hereafter referred to as "Johnny" as that is his name and I refuse to continue treating him like a piece of meat... *drools*) on MSN. Surprisingly enough, he has half a brain to speak of. He's headed back to New Orleans sometime in February. He told me that Jess and I were the coolest girls he's met since he got to Toronto last summer. Either a) he's totally lame and hasn't met ANY other girls or b) he's a major liar. Either way, I think this is a bad sign.
Hm. What else?
Well, school was officially back in session today, and I haven't mourned the end of my vacation as of yet because I didn't have class. All I did was sleep and play The Sims 2 which is just what I do when I'm on vacation, so no time for crying. I have a feeling that I will break into tears tomorrow though. Midway through Professor Green's speech about "how skipping classes leads to failure" I'm predicting. That's okay though. Because then I'll have something to tell Adam about.
Well, seeing as how nothing bitch-worthy or note-worthy has happened in the last two days, I guess that's it for this update. Tomorrow promises to bring new adventures with it, however, as I will have to leave my comfy lair and brave the cold with a smile on my face in case I run into anyone I may or may not have had a crush on. (I admit NOTHING!)