Friday, September 15, 2006

Is it really bad that I miss *ean?

I haven't spoken to him in a year, and I haven't seen him in over two...

But what we had was so EASY. And it just FIT.
I didn't have to try. I just liked him. And he just liked me. And we just liked spending time together.

Why is that so hard?
I've never been so sure about anything in my life:

This NEEDS to happen.

The scary part is that I'm not sure it will.

Sunday, September 03, 2006

in the gutter, where i belong

I hate the rain.
It's such bullshit, and it makes me depressed.

Jel came over today and we discussed boys, as usual.

I'm glad things happened the way they did with everyone. I think I've learned a lot about myself in the last year, and a lot of it is thanks to boys and the stupid things they do.

Anyway, recently I've given this myspace thing a chance and actually checked out the profile of a friend's band. Was very pleasantly surprised to find that they don't actually suck. In fact, they're quite amazing, and I just may be their newest biggest fan.
My favourite line in my favourite of their songs: "And if you drift away, then you'll be mine to save."

And I think that just says it all about me in relationships.

Sidebar: I found out today that Spazzy has one flaw I wasn't aware of before: He gives himself too much credit when it comes to me, which may be my own fault, but won't serve him well in the end.
It was comforting in some warped way.

Another sidenote: I know I've said it before, but once I finish that 26er of vodka, I'm NEVER drinking again.
I woke up at 3pm today with a killer hangover, and a mildly worrisome thought on my mind. I'm acting out in all the wrong ways, and I'm not even sure why I keep putting myself down like that.
I must not really like me as much as I think I do at all.

Saturday, September 02, 2006

I feel...

betrayed
relieved
disappointed
unwanted
happy
elated
sad
confused
dazed
numb
wrong
right
pathetic
strong
proud
secretive
loud
forgotten
shafted
daft
stupid
silly

gay