sometimes quixotical; not always wrong
"Other arms reach out to me
Other eyes smile tenderly
Still in peaceful dreams I see
The road leads back to you"
I know what I have to do now.
I have a goal, and a plan.
It's time to grow up; no more falling back on luck, no more counting on good fortune, no more assuming everything will work out just fine in the end (even though it probably will).
There's really only one efficient way to get from A to B, and I should just ignore the detours and anything else that will interfere with that journey. That means ignoring all the Cs and Ds and exes.
What I do now, and who I become now, in the next few weeks and months and years will determine how far I'll be able to go and who I'll be for the rest of my life.
I need to focus on school. I proved it this past semester: I'm capable of amazing grades with just a little bit of effort, and I need to start fulfilling my potential.
I need to focus on gaining the type of experience that will help my chances of getting into the post-graduate program of my choice: I need to start volunteering in schools, and at camps, and with professors who do the type of research I would eventually like to do.
I need to find a job that will pay me a little bit more money for a little bit less (stressful) work, where I'm not surrounded by idiots I can't stand on a daily basis, so that I can pay off my VISA bill and continue to be able to afford to go out once a week and maintain a social life (and my sanity).
These are the three goals I've been mulling over lately, and I think that articulating them and writing them down will bring me that much closer to achieving them. At least that's what all the self-improvement books say.
So tomorrow, bright and early, begins my journey. I'm heading out to nail that nice new job, find out who needs volunteers, and I'm going to get a headstart on my readings for my summer class.
In other news, this weekend is Dave's raucous 80s theme party. I hit up the Goodwill with Nelly on Monday, and I have a perfectly hideous outfit all set to go. Think orange skin-tight mini dress, a bright pink overcoat thingermajiger with black lightning bolts, and some black legwarmers with 3-inch black heels.
I absolutely can't wait to put on the blue eyeshadow and get my hair to literally stand on end, which reminds me, I need hairspray. Can you say "Kodak moment"?
Pauly is back in town, and this upcoming May 2-4 weekend, we know what we're doing. And it's what every self-respecting Canadian does on May 2-4 weekend, say it with me: "drinking in the park". The weather doesn't look like it'll hold out, but that's why God invented garages and basements.
I'm so happy to have Pauly back in town. We haven't talked in a few days, but it's still comforting to know that he is just up the street somehow.
Lastly, this, I don't know what it is, this - unknowing, confusion, conflict - this part that's missing, this friend that's gone, this bit that's not whole - it's not going away, and it's not getting better.
But I'm learning to live with it.
And I'm not sure if that's a good thing, but whether it's horrible for me or not, "just an old sweet song, keeps Georgia on my mind".
Other eyes smile tenderly
Still in peaceful dreams I see
The road leads back to you"
I know what I have to do now.
I have a goal, and a plan.
It's time to grow up; no more falling back on luck, no more counting on good fortune, no more assuming everything will work out just fine in the end (even though it probably will).
There's really only one efficient way to get from A to B, and I should just ignore the detours and anything else that will interfere with that journey. That means ignoring all the Cs and Ds and exes.
What I do now, and who I become now, in the next few weeks and months and years will determine how far I'll be able to go and who I'll be for the rest of my life.
I need to focus on school. I proved it this past semester: I'm capable of amazing grades with just a little bit of effort, and I need to start fulfilling my potential.
I need to focus on gaining the type of experience that will help my chances of getting into the post-graduate program of my choice: I need to start volunteering in schools, and at camps, and with professors who do the type of research I would eventually like to do.
I need to find a job that will pay me a little bit more money for a little bit less (stressful) work, where I'm not surrounded by idiots I can't stand on a daily basis, so that I can pay off my VISA bill and continue to be able to afford to go out once a week and maintain a social life (and my sanity).
These are the three goals I've been mulling over lately, and I think that articulating them and writing them down will bring me that much closer to achieving them. At least that's what all the self-improvement books say.
So tomorrow, bright and early, begins my journey. I'm heading out to nail that nice new job, find out who needs volunteers, and I'm going to get a headstart on my readings for my summer class.
In other news, this weekend is Dave's raucous 80s theme party. I hit up the Goodwill with Nelly on Monday, and I have a perfectly hideous outfit all set to go. Think orange skin-tight mini dress, a bright pink overcoat thingermajiger with black lightning bolts, and some black legwarmers with 3-inch black heels.
I absolutely can't wait to put on the blue eyeshadow and get my hair to literally stand on end, which reminds me, I need hairspray. Can you say "Kodak moment"?
Pauly is back in town, and this upcoming May 2-4 weekend, we know what we're doing. And it's what every self-respecting Canadian does on May 2-4 weekend, say it with me: "drinking in the park". The weather doesn't look like it'll hold out, but that's why God invented garages and basements.
I'm so happy to have Pauly back in town. We haven't talked in a few days, but it's still comforting to know that he is just up the street somehow.
Lastly, this, I don't know what it is, this - unknowing, confusion, conflict - this part that's missing, this friend that's gone, this bit that's not whole - it's not going away, and it's not getting better.
But I'm learning to live with it.
And I'm not sure if that's a good thing, but whether it's horrible for me or not, "just an old sweet song, keeps Georgia on my mind".
posted by captain obvious at 8:02 p.m.
3 Comments:
i love that you ended with a quote from one of my all time favourite songs.
you've articulated perfectly what i need to be doing this summer too.
thank you for your message...i miss you, i love you and i'll call you soon, i promise.
maybe we can get together this weekend? i'd really like that.
xoxoxo
Why learn to live with it when you can try and get this friend back?
That's not an option.
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