WTF - Letters of the Month
I woke up at 2pm today.
WTF?
Honestly though, this is getting to be a source of concern for me. Mainly because it is severely impeding my ability to interact normally with people. I can't go out with anyone during the day because I'm sleeping, and I can't go out with them at night because they're sleeping. And in the odd event that I'm awake during the day, I'm in such a tired, pissed-off mood that I can't even make proper conversation or laugh at the appropriate intervals. As a result, I'm getting the "What's wrong with you?" ten times daily.
"Well, what's wrong with me is a tough thing to specify and/or identify, but one of the things contributing to the increase in abnormal behaviour I'm exhibiting is the fact that I'm not getting any sleep when people are supposed to be sleeping."
"Well, why aren't you sleeping when you're supposed to be sleeping?"
"Because I go to bed too late and wake up too late."
"Well, why don't you just get up earlier and then you'll be tired earlier and then you'll go to bed earlier?"
"Because that would just make too much sense. Plus, I'm unmotivated to roll out of bed in the mornings. I'd much rather just unplug the radio, roll over, and continue sleeping."
"You know, being in a comatose state for hours isn't necessarily healthy... if you're sleeping 16 hours daily - that can't be good..."
"Yeah, but eating Doritos and cookies isn't good for me either. And breathing in Toronto air is probably unhealthy. And everything causes cancer. You don't see me boycotting everything, do you?"
"I was just trying to be helpful..."
"Yeah? Why don't you shove something up your ass and get out of my face?"
"Why would I shove something up my ass?"
"SHUT UP! I'm going to bed..."
This army of giant ants appeared in my basement tonight. I saw one on my blanket, and after I finished freaking out, I looked over the edge of the couch and saw like 5 more in this stream of giant black ants. It was so disturbing. That was something like 3 hours ago, and I still keep feeling like there's little things crawling all over me. Gross.
I found my beige pants today. Fresh out of the laundry - in my SISTER'S room - crumpled. Now I either have to re-wash them (to smooth the crumples) which means I'd have to re-visit the basement... which I promised the ants they could have if they stayed out of my room, OR it means ironing. I want to kick my sister in the head sometimes. Why would she do this to me? I mean, the pants are clean - never been worn (since the wash), but I CAN'T WEAR THEM because she's demented and decided to leave them crumpled on her bed. GUARHASJKLKLJASSA/.
Sometimes I wish I had a little video camera with me 24/7 to capture all the nonsense I have to put up with. Then I could make accurate transcripts of some of the stupid things people have told me over the years. Like this conversation I had with this guy the other day. It went something like this:
HIM: Hi.
*He's smiling wide.*
ME: Hi. How are you?
*I smile back. I haven't talked to him in a long time.*
HIM: Fine.
...
...
ME: So... what's new?
*I'm looking at him intently. He's looking at the floor.*
HIM: Nothing.
...
...
...
...
ME: Nothing?
...
HIM: Nope.
*Still staring at the floor.*
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
ME: Are you mad at me or something?
*He looks at me abruptly*
HIM: No.
...
ME: Hmm.
...
...
...
...
*He looks back at the floor*
ME: Are you sure?
*Looks back at me*
HIM: What?
...
ME: Are you sure you're not mad at me?
HIM: Yeah.
...
...
ME: Really?
...
HIM: Really.
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
*He's still staring at me*
*I do the head-bobbing 'yes?'-type thingy*
*He looks away*
*I look away*
...
*I'm staring at my shoes. They need a good cleaning.*
*He's staring at... I can't really tell what he's staring at. Something. In the distance.*
...
ME: So, are you sure there's nothing new? At all?
*I'm looking at him*
HIM: No.
*He looks at me*
ME: How'd your exams go?
HIM: Good.
...
...
...
...
ME: How's your family?
HIM: Fine.
...
...
...
...
ME: Done anything interesting lately?
HIM: Not really.
ME: Been busy?
HIM: Kinda.
ME: Doing what?
...
...
HIM: Not too much.
...
...
...
ME: Positive you're not mad at me?
*Now he looks exasperated.*
HIM: Why would I be mad at you?
ME: I don't know. You just don't seem very talkative. Something bugging you?
...
...
...
...
HIM: I'm not mad at you.
...
...
ME: Something bugging you?
*I think, something must be bugging him.*
HIM: No, nothing's bugging me.
*He's looking at me. Would he be looking at me if something was bugging him? Maybe I'm bugging him... Why would I be bugging him? I was just sitting here... minding my own business...*
...
...
...
...
ME: Are you sure?
HIM: Yeah. Nothing's bugging me.
*He smiles. I have no idea what's going on.*
...
ME: So, why'd you come over here?
HIM: What do you mean?
ME: Well...
...
...
...
...
ME: Well, I mean, why'd you come over here?
*He looks at me like I'm weird.*
HIM: Why not?
...
...
...
ME: Well, if you're not going to say anything...
...
HIM: What do you mean?
...
...
*Oh God. Why?*
...
ME: I just mean... well, you're not really saying much, are you?
HIM: Guess not.
*He's looking at the floor again.*
...
...
...
...
...
ME: Are you sure there's nothing bugging you?
*He looks at me incredulously. Then smiles broadly.*
HIM: There's nothing bugging me.
*If there IS something bugging him, he does a damn good job of covering it up. That was a GIANT smile.*
...
...
...
ME: So why are you here?
HIM: Dunno.
...
...
...
...
ME: Okaaaay.
*He looks at me.*
...
...
...
...
ME: Well, I'm going to go.
HIM: Why?
*I look at him frustratedly. Is that a word?*
ME: Did you come by just to say hi?
...
...
...
ME: Well?
...
...
...
*Now I'm totally annoyed. He's breaking every social norm there is that dictates what normal conversation between two people should be. It's really provoking.*
ME: Ok, I'm leaving.
HIM: Why?
ME: Honestly? Because you're creeping me out.
HIM: Why?
ME: Because. People don't just sit there and not say anything. Not when they don't know each other well. Not when they haven't talked in a while. Not when nothing's bugging them. Not when they're not angry at one another.
...
...
HIM: What's so bad about just sitting there?
ME: Well, it's not that... it's just... well, why?
*He's looking at the floor.*
...
...
...
...
*He looks at me.*
HIM: Why not?
...
...
*I'm looking at him for any hint of a smile. Any hint of a joke. There is none.*
ME: But why?
...
...
...
ME: See? That's what I mean. Why would you just choose to not answer my question?
HIM: I'm thinking about it.
ME: Well, think faster.
...
...
...
...
...
*He stares at me*
ME: It's kinda rude too, ya know.
HIM: What is?
ME: Well, just sitting there, not saying anything.
HIM: How?
ME: Well, you're not asking me anything. You're not giving me anything to work with. I have to keep the entire conversation going myself.
HIM: Why?
ME: Why what?
HIM: Why do you have to keep it going?
ME: Because I feel WEIRD just sitting here not saying anything.
...
...
...
HIM: Why?
...
...
...
ME: Because it's creepy. I feel like you're mad at me. Or something's bugging you. Or one of us should be saying something. Anything. Otherwise, why are we here?
...
...
...
...
...
...
ME: You're still doing it.
HIM: Doing what?
ME: Not saying anything.
HIM: I have nothing to say.
ME: SO WHY ARE YOU HERE?
...
...
...
HIM: Do you want me to leave?
ME: No. That's not what I mean.
...
...
...
...
ME: Well?
...
...
...
HIM: Well what?
...
...
...
ME: You're being really frustrating.
HIM: I don't know why you're frustrated.
ME: I told you why I was frustrated. You're totally creeping me out.
...
...
...
...
...
ME: I'm leaving.
HIM: You were here first.
ME: I know.
HIM: So I should leave.
ME:I know.
...
...
...
...
...
*He makes no move to leave.*
ME: So are you going to leave?
...
...
*He looks at me, smiling slightly.*
HIM: I thought you were leaving.
ME: I AM. Good LORD. BYE!
*I start to pick up my stuff*
HIM: It's okay. This is your spot. I'll leave.
*He gets up and leaves before I can say anything. I'm left sitting there, really, really confused.*
WTF?
If anyone has any idea why someone would do something like that, please... indulge me.
WTF?
Honestly though, this is getting to be a source of concern for me. Mainly because it is severely impeding my ability to interact normally with people. I can't go out with anyone during the day because I'm sleeping, and I can't go out with them at night because they're sleeping. And in the odd event that I'm awake during the day, I'm in such a tired, pissed-off mood that I can't even make proper conversation or laugh at the appropriate intervals. As a result, I'm getting the "What's wrong with you?" ten times daily.
"Well, what's wrong with me is a tough thing to specify and/or identify, but one of the things contributing to the increase in abnormal behaviour I'm exhibiting is the fact that I'm not getting any sleep when people are supposed to be sleeping."
"Well, why aren't you sleeping when you're supposed to be sleeping?"
"Because I go to bed too late and wake up too late."
"Well, why don't you just get up earlier and then you'll be tired earlier and then you'll go to bed earlier?"
"Because that would just make too much sense. Plus, I'm unmotivated to roll out of bed in the mornings. I'd much rather just unplug the radio, roll over, and continue sleeping."
"You know, being in a comatose state for hours isn't necessarily healthy... if you're sleeping 16 hours daily - that can't be good..."
"Yeah, but eating Doritos and cookies isn't good for me either. And breathing in Toronto air is probably unhealthy. And everything causes cancer. You don't see me boycotting everything, do you?"
"I was just trying to be helpful..."
"Yeah? Why don't you shove something up your ass and get out of my face?"
"Why would I shove something up my ass?"
"SHUT UP! I'm going to bed..."
This army of giant ants appeared in my basement tonight. I saw one on my blanket, and after I finished freaking out, I looked over the edge of the couch and saw like 5 more in this stream of giant black ants. It was so disturbing. That was something like 3 hours ago, and I still keep feeling like there's little things crawling all over me. Gross.
I found my beige pants today. Fresh out of the laundry - in my SISTER'S room - crumpled. Now I either have to re-wash them (to smooth the crumples) which means I'd have to re-visit the basement... which I promised the ants they could have if they stayed out of my room, OR it means ironing. I want to kick my sister in the head sometimes. Why would she do this to me? I mean, the pants are clean - never been worn (since the wash), but I CAN'T WEAR THEM because she's demented and decided to leave them crumpled on her bed. GUARHASJKLKLJASSA/.
Sometimes I wish I had a little video camera with me 24/7 to capture all the nonsense I have to put up with. Then I could make accurate transcripts of some of the stupid things people have told me over the years. Like this conversation I had with this guy the other day. It went something like this:
HIM: Hi.
*He's smiling wide.*
ME: Hi. How are you?
*I smile back. I haven't talked to him in a long time.*
HIM: Fine.
...
...
ME: So... what's new?
*I'm looking at him intently. He's looking at the floor.*
HIM: Nothing.
...
...
...
...
ME: Nothing?
...
HIM: Nope.
*Still staring at the floor.*
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
ME: Are you mad at me or something?
*He looks at me abruptly*
HIM: No.
...
ME: Hmm.
...
...
...
...
*He looks back at the floor*
ME: Are you sure?
*Looks back at me*
HIM: What?
...
ME: Are you sure you're not mad at me?
HIM: Yeah.
...
...
ME: Really?
...
HIM: Really.
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
*He's still staring at me*
*I do the head-bobbing 'yes?'-type thingy*
*He looks away*
*I look away*
...
*I'm staring at my shoes. They need a good cleaning.*
*He's staring at... I can't really tell what he's staring at. Something. In the distance.*
...
ME: So, are you sure there's nothing new? At all?
*I'm looking at him*
HIM: No.
*He looks at me*
ME: How'd your exams go?
HIM: Good.
...
...
...
...
ME: How's your family?
HIM: Fine.
...
...
...
...
ME: Done anything interesting lately?
HIM: Not really.
ME: Been busy?
HIM: Kinda.
ME: Doing what?
...
...
HIM: Not too much.
...
...
...
ME: Positive you're not mad at me?
*Now he looks exasperated.*
HIM: Why would I be mad at you?
ME: I don't know. You just don't seem very talkative. Something bugging you?
...
...
...
...
HIM: I'm not mad at you.
...
...
ME: Something bugging you?
*I think, something must be bugging him.*
HIM: No, nothing's bugging me.
*He's looking at me. Would he be looking at me if something was bugging him? Maybe I'm bugging him... Why would I be bugging him? I was just sitting here... minding my own business...*
...
...
...
...
ME: Are you sure?
HIM: Yeah. Nothing's bugging me.
*He smiles. I have no idea what's going on.*
...
ME: So, why'd you come over here?
HIM: What do you mean?
ME: Well...
...
...
...
...
ME: Well, I mean, why'd you come over here?
*He looks at me like I'm weird.*
HIM: Why not?
...
...
...
ME: Well, if you're not going to say anything...
...
HIM: What do you mean?
...
...
*Oh God. Why?*
...
ME: I just mean... well, you're not really saying much, are you?
HIM: Guess not.
*He's looking at the floor again.*
...
...
...
...
...
ME: Are you sure there's nothing bugging you?
*He looks at me incredulously. Then smiles broadly.*
HIM: There's nothing bugging me.
*If there IS something bugging him, he does a damn good job of covering it up. That was a GIANT smile.*
...
...
...
ME: So why are you here?
HIM: Dunno.
...
...
...
...
ME: Okaaaay.
*He looks at me.*
...
...
...
...
ME: Well, I'm going to go.
HIM: Why?
*I look at him frustratedly. Is that a word?*
ME: Did you come by just to say hi?
...
...
...
ME: Well?
...
...
...
*Now I'm totally annoyed. He's breaking every social norm there is that dictates what normal conversation between two people should be. It's really provoking.*
ME: Ok, I'm leaving.
HIM: Why?
ME: Honestly? Because you're creeping me out.
HIM: Why?
ME: Because. People don't just sit there and not say anything. Not when they don't know each other well. Not when they haven't talked in a while. Not when nothing's bugging them. Not when they're not angry at one another.
...
...
HIM: What's so bad about just sitting there?
ME: Well, it's not that... it's just... well, why?
*He's looking at the floor.*
...
...
...
...
*He looks at me.*
HIM: Why not?
...
...
*I'm looking at him for any hint of a smile. Any hint of a joke. There is none.*
ME: But why?
...
...
...
ME: See? That's what I mean. Why would you just choose to not answer my question?
HIM: I'm thinking about it.
ME: Well, think faster.
...
...
...
...
...
*He stares at me*
ME: It's kinda rude too, ya know.
HIM: What is?
ME: Well, just sitting there, not saying anything.
HIM: How?
ME: Well, you're not asking me anything. You're not giving me anything to work with. I have to keep the entire conversation going myself.
HIM: Why?
ME: Why what?
HIM: Why do you have to keep it going?
ME: Because I feel WEIRD just sitting here not saying anything.
...
...
...
HIM: Why?
...
...
...
ME: Because it's creepy. I feel like you're mad at me. Or something's bugging you. Or one of us should be saying something. Anything. Otherwise, why are we here?
...
...
...
...
...
...
ME: You're still doing it.
HIM: Doing what?
ME: Not saying anything.
HIM: I have nothing to say.
ME: SO WHY ARE YOU HERE?
...
...
...
HIM: Do you want me to leave?
ME: No. That's not what I mean.
...
...
...
...
ME: Well?
...
...
...
HIM: Well what?
...
...
...
ME: You're being really frustrating.
HIM: I don't know why you're frustrated.
ME: I told you why I was frustrated. You're totally creeping me out.
...
...
...
...
...
ME: I'm leaving.
HIM: You were here first.
ME: I know.
HIM: So I should leave.
ME:I know.
...
...
...
...
...
*He makes no move to leave.*
ME: So are you going to leave?
...
...
*He looks at me, smiling slightly.*
HIM: I thought you were leaving.
ME: I AM. Good LORD. BYE!
*I start to pick up my stuff*
HIM: It's okay. This is your spot. I'll leave.
*He gets up and leaves before I can say anything. I'm left sitting there, really, really confused.*
WTF?
If anyone has any idea why someone would do something like that, please... indulge me.
posted by captain obvious at 4:56 a.m.
7 Comments:
honestly i should be studying for my abnormal psych exam that is 10 hours...but really, stuff like this is so much better! that conversation made me laugh out loud in the library thus illiciting a few dirty looks and more than a few dirty words uttered under the breaths of the bespectacled nerd in the corner and the fat kid eating doritos really loudly. i mean really....if you're gonna eat doritos in the library, you've sorta lost the right to give the chick laughing out loud dirty looks of any kind! don't you think?!
your life should become, at best, an oscar winning hollywood blockbuster production, at worst a made-for-TV movie of the week!
XOXO
Roselle
PS thanks for the procrastudying material!
Doesn't "GUARHASJKLKLJASSA/" say it all? Anyways, what's wrong with not talking? You feel uncomfortable but it shows a sign of closeness when two people can just sit quietly without talking. Body language is more important than words so just leave that kid be. But I will admit, that interaction was funny as hell, at least from an outsider's perspective.
Btw, how do you have so much free time?
Well, you see...
I'M DONE EXAMS!!!
All I've been doing for the past 48 hours is eating Doritos and playing The Sims 2. Oh, and updating my blog.
YEAH!
Rosey - you almost made me piss my pants laughing. I think I'm fast becoming the fat kid in the library eating Doritos - and yes, I would definitely forefit (sp?) the right to give anyone dirty looks if I were that kid.
And thank you... I've been meaning to write a movie for the longest time. Perhaps I should get on that... made-for-tv, here I come! (I love made-for-tv movies even better than the Oscar winning kind. You learn way more. Like... what a bad actor is.)
And Paul, you're right. It's totally a cool thing when you can sit in silence with someone and not feel the need to talk. But I felt the need. Which means that me and this person aren't close enough to get away with not talking. Can you say awkward?
But yes. Tis funny when you read it and pretend it isn't about you...
who was the person?
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
I would just like to point out the irony in that question coming from someone ANONYMOUS...
And I refuse to answer Mr./Mrs. Anonymous, for reasons I'm sure you (as Mr./Mrs. Anonymous) can identify with...
Sounds like a creepy guy. You should have left right away.
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