you scratched my cd!
We stopped off at Staples the other day to buy some paper. Whiteboard on display. My sister writes, "This whiteboard sucks. Don't buy it. In fact, Staples sucks. Leave immediately" on it. Waiting to check out takes FOREVER. It's finally our turn. I look at the cashier and say, "Nine hours LATER!" I'm not really sure what came over me, but in that second, there was absolutely no inhibition at play. I think my frontal lobes decided to go for a bit of a vacation. As we're leaving, we remark on the dopiness, nerdiness, and general ugliness of the lucky Staples Employee of the Month, who's picture shows off his be-braced pearly whites and acne in the way only the most unflatteringly lit photographs can. In the suggestion box, we leave one: "Don't make ugly people your Employee of the Month".
Yesterday, we went beeping at people. Met our new neighbour, Dan. He was shooting some hoops, and we said "Are you shooting some hoops?" and he was like "Yeah," and it just went downhill from there. I talked too much and took him, my sister, and Nelly out for coffee. Nelly paid. Then we ran into her don and some of his friends at the park. They thought I was abrasive. I probably was, but all I remember saying was "I got my hair cut today."
"Yes, it looks much better then before," they said.
I've never met them before.
By the time we got home, my sister was in trouble because she hadn't studied for her Math final, and Dan was tired of hearing me talk. So he told me a story about a time he tried to say something but all that came out was incoherent mumbling. I didn't really get a lot of what he was saying. All of a sudden, I noticed my mother watering the plants in the backyard in her underwear. I tried to distract Dan, but I don't think it worked. He said, "Is that someone in your backyard?" then my mom moved and all doubt was removed.
I quickly excused myself and ran into the house and onto the crapper.
And that, boys and girls, as they say, is that.
P.S. That movie about that dude from Jackass rigging the Special Olympics was surprisingly hilarious.
Yesterday, we went beeping at people. Met our new neighbour, Dan. He was shooting some hoops, and we said "Are you shooting some hoops?" and he was like "Yeah," and it just went downhill from there. I talked too much and took him, my sister, and Nelly out for coffee. Nelly paid. Then we ran into her don and some of his friends at the park. They thought I was abrasive. I probably was, but all I remember saying was "I got my hair cut today."
"Yes, it looks much better then before," they said.
I've never met them before.
By the time we got home, my sister was in trouble because she hadn't studied for her Math final, and Dan was tired of hearing me talk. So he told me a story about a time he tried to say something but all that came out was incoherent mumbling. I didn't really get a lot of what he was saying. All of a sudden, I noticed my mother watering the plants in the backyard in her underwear. I tried to distract Dan, but I don't think it worked. He said, "Is that someone in your backyard?" then my mom moved and all doubt was removed.
I quickly excused myself and ran into the house and onto the crapper.
And that, boys and girls, as they say, is that.
P.S. That movie about that dude from Jackass rigging the Special Olympics was surprisingly hilarious.
posted by captain obvious at 3:34 p.m.
4 Comments:
Probably even worse to work there then it is to shop there. U really helped those poor folks there.
SERBIA GOT OWNED! OH SNAP
0-3!!
HAHAHAHAHAHAH
WHY WERE THEY EVEN IN THE WORLD CUP?
OH SNAP!
That last poster is a total pussy.
your mom has a pussy, and everyone eats it :D
Post a Comment
<< Home