Saturday, September 17, 2005

it's not bright... it's sunny.

(Thank you Tomal.)

I'd love to update you all on my life and the like, but I'm so far beyond the Valley of Not Caring that I can't even be bothered to update people on how little I care.
That's how little I care.

I had this conversation with Nelly today:
You know how when you're SO tired you don't even feel tired anymore? Or you're SO hungry you don't even feel hungry anymore?
Well I care *SO* little about stuff right now that I'm actually freaking out about everything. At least that's the theory to explain why I'm freaking out about everything. (It makes no sense. I know. I just read that sentence three times and even though I wrote it, it still makes no sense. But it's the best I can do. Plus, I don't really care.)

I'm freaking about school. Because I have to get into courses that have no space. And pay for courses with my no-money. And I don't have a single textbook. And I have my first assignment due next week.
I'm freaking about work. Because it sucks. And I need a new and (very) improved job.
I'm freaking about the amount of physical labour I'm going to have to put into the new house.
I'm freaking about the fact that I haven't talked to some of my closer friends in a while and I'm not really all that pertrubed or surprised by it.
I'm freaking that I don't care about losing friends at this point.
I'm freaking about the fact that I have no replacement friends.
I'm freaking about the fact that everyone seems to enjoy my company on a really superficial level, but no one is ever really willing to take it any further.
I'm freaking about how there's always someone to hang out with at school, but never anyone to call at 4 in the morning. Except for Nelly. Who's too far to do anything about it.
And I'm lastly freaking about the fact that none of the boys in my life have balls.
Which is definitely something to freak about.
If boys don't have balls, who will?

(AND it's also freaky that it's Friday night and I spent it talking to my parents about painting a garage... but I'm not really freaking about that. All that means is that I've regressed to my grade ten days. I'm just missing popcorn and AFV.)

I dunno. Seems to me the Valley of Not Caring is severely overrated.
It's just like the Valley of the Really Caring, minus the emotional upheavals, plus internal turmoil.
I think I like it better in the Valley of the Really Caring though, mainly because I don't know how to deal with ulcers.

2 Comments:

Blogger unreuly said...

1. i like you on more than just a superficial level and you can call me at 4am!

2. yea boys don't have balls...men do...but they've seemed to all have banded together and gone on a collective hunting trip or some other such man-like activity

3. good luck with the textbook/course/money situation

4. what is an AFV???

5. ok, i didn't want to leave it four points coz thats seemed weird...so thats it!

xoxoxo

12:56 a.m.  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

WHAT? WHO TOLD YOU? Damn, not having balls is not fun.

1:47 p.m.  

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