Away Laughing On A Fast Camel: Part II

Another excerpt (and, in my humble opinion, the best part of this book) from "Away Laughing On A Fast Camel" by Louise Rennison:

11:07 p.m.
The band had left the stage by the time I went over to Tom. I said to him, "Mission accomplished. She will talk to you, but I have to go over and try to persuade her, but you will know that we are acting."
Tom gave me a hug. As he was hugging me, Masimo came from the dressing room. As he walked through the crowd it sort of parted before him. There was an awful lot of flicking of hair and smiling going on. And that was just the boys!!! No really, it was the girls, especially that trollopy Sharon Davies; she's had blond streaks put in her hair. I don't think they look very natural. Not like my boy entrancers. (Fake eyelashes). I put an extra slurp of glue on them when I was in the loo just now so there is no chance of them coming off. I was just watching Masimo. Not directly. I was looking over Tom's shoulder. As I was being Miss Cool I saw Wet Lindsay walk in with her sad mates. She had a ludicrously short skirt on. If I had legs as thin as hers, I would wear big inflatable trousers so that I didn't startle anyone. But she is too selfish to bother.
Ohmygiddygod Masimo was coming our way. Tom winked at me. Then he called over to Masimo, "Hey Masimo, ciao."
Masimo heard him and smiled and came over. Oh please please don't let me go to the piddly diddly department in the middle of the dance floor. When he reached us I could feel the heat of him being near me. Good grief and jelloid knickers akimbo. He said, "Hey Tom, ciao - and it's you. Let me see... the lovely Ginger."
I went, "Hahahahahahahahahaahahahhaahahaha" until Tom hit me on the back.
Tom said, "No, this is Georgia."
I said, even though I knew I should shut up - but you know when you should shut up but you go on and on - well I had that, "Ah well, you see, Libby thinks I am half cat, half sister, and she... er... calls me Ginger sometimes."
Tom went on trying to rescue me. "Georgia went out with Robbie for a bit before he went to Whakatane."
Masimo looked me right in the eyes. "Robbie is, how you say in English, not in his right brains to leave you behind." And he smiled again. Phwoar. I had to look down because I couldn't trust myself not to leap on him. I looked down and then I was intending to look up and do that looking up and looking away thing, and also possibly a bit of flicky hair. Unfortunately when I tried to look up again, I couldn't because my boy entrancers had stuck to my bottom lashes. So my eyes stayed shut. They were glued together. I kept trying to open my eyes but I couldn't. In sheer desperadoes I said, "Oh, I love this one." And started wobbling my head around to the music.
The tune was Rolf Harris's "Two Little Boys," the naffest record known to humanity. Ohmygiddygod what should I do? I kept up the head waggling and I was raising my eyebrows up and down to pull my eyelashes apart. I bet that looked attractive. I thought I'd better do some humming. I started humming to the tune.
Masimo said, "Would you like to have a drink?"
Hummmmmmmmm hummmmmmm...
"No thanks, non grazie, I must groove to this one."
I must get away. I turned and head-wobbled off. I couldn't see a thing obviously, so to stop myself from crashing into anything, I put my hands out in front of me, but then I thought that would look odd so I tried to fit it into my dancing. I put one hand out in front and waved the other above my head like disco dancing. I knew the loos were sort of to my right and if I could just get there I could rip my boy entrancers off.
My "grooving" arm banged into something soft and someone said, "Oy, mind my basoomas, you cream-faced loon!"
It was Rosie, thank God. I said to her, "Rosie, lead me to the loos."
She said, "Clear off, you lezzie."
I was still madly flinging my arms around. Hopefully Masimo would think it was the eccentric English way of having a good time. Either that or he would be phoning for emergency services.
I said to Rosie, "My boy entrancers have stuck together. I can't open my eyes. Do something."
She said, "Quick, put your hands on my soulders and we'll conga dance over to the loos."
"Rosie, I don't think that's a very good-"
Before I knew it, she had forced my hands onto her shoulders and we were doing the conga. Fifty-five million years later I broke free from the conga line - once we had started doing it, the whole club had joined in. I yelled at Rosie to stop and take me to the loos, but she was having too much of a laugh. I got my hand to my eyes and tried to pry the lashes apart, and that is when one of them fell off in my hand - the boy entrancer I mean, not my eye.
I could see! I could see! I ran into the loos and ripped off the other one.

I can't really post anything of my own because I'm too busy playing The Sims 2. Thanks for your help Kosma!