oh, the summer nights

Going to baba's and deda's... is such a freaking chore
Going to baba's and deda's... is nothing but a bore
My younger cousin is a freaking decade younger than me
There's absolutely nothing interesting there for me to see
I haaaate going to baba's and deda's, it's a waste of time
I'd rather stay home and write my essay and that's a horrible sign
OOoh, going to baba's and deda's... is such a freaking CHORE
It's so boring, so boring, so boring, it's such a freaking BORE!!!!

But my dad makes me do it because he keeps saying that they're old (not really) and gonna die soon (probably not) and then I'll be sorry I didn't visit them more often (unlikely because I visit them once a week, and that's plenty by anyone's standards).

Can you say "Guilt Trip"? Works every time.

I hope I can write an A+ essay in a few hours because ONCE AGAIN, I've managed to leave things 'til the last minute even though we got a five day extension. PROCRASTINATOOOOOR, you evil, evil horrendous monster who invades every freaking aspect of my life - even the brain space allocated to *ean, because I STILL haven't decided if I should just dump him really gloriously by throwing a colourful drink in his face next time we go out and yelling, "Stop calling me fat!" or if I should just keep him around because he's good at what he does... sigh - you're going down! (Procrastinator!)

Inner struggle supreme:
Chase something that isn't going anywhere because I love the chase?
OR
Stop chasing something that isn't going anywhere and look for something I can catch?

MAAAAYBE,
I can chase something that isn't going anywhere because I love the chase WHILE keeping my eyes open for something else I can actually catch at the same time - however, I'm afraid if I don't focus all my energy on one endeavour at a time, that I'll get distracted and either end up catching the thing I never wanted to catch (by accident) or miss seeing something I would've seen had I not been so busy chasing something useless. See? I know, it's complicated. I'm not even sure it makes sense to me.

I hope my parents (read: dad) give me their (read: his) blessings to go to Montreal because I'd really like to have their (his) blessings and not have to kill them (him) and then run away (not actually) to Montreal, and I would do all of the above (kill, run away) if I don't get their (his) blessings because at this point I would feel horrendously gay (in the least homosexual sense) if I didn't go since
1) it was all my idea (the Canada Day Montreal trip) in the first place, and all of my bestest pals are going (Nelly, Zeebs, Pauly)
2) staying home would be the shit since all my bestest pals would be gone
3) I'd be forced to be with my parents (on account of number 2) doing the same thing I've been doing EVERY Canada day for as long as I can remember (i.e. not much at all)
and 4) there's something abbhorently unappealing about sitting in my basement eating ice cream (refer to number 3 for explanation of why I would be doing this) when I know everyone I know (three people, apparently) are in Montreal having a kickass (drunken) time.

I don't really understand the logic behind the fossils not giving me their blessings to go in any case because
1) I'm 20 years old (it's time to let go)
2) it's only like 450km
3) it's only like 3 days
4) it's my money
5) it's my liver
and 6) they're officially letting me go to Cuba for a week this winter with one person, and Cuba is arguably a less politically stable environment (and thus potentially more dangerous) then Quebec...
Maybe they have some weird ideas about the French separatists, I mean, I could understand mounting concerns seeing as how it's Canada Day and Quebec... well, we all know the deal with Quebec - potential hostage situations and whatnot (although I'd make a useless hostage) but I don't think that's where their concern lies. I think they're more concerned with Zeebs' driving, although they've never seen her drive, (if they had, they'd never let me get into a car with her again, period), and so, I don't get it. At all.
Concern over Castro < Concern over some Frenchies?

Maybe they disapprove of the European atmosphere in Montreal. They're afraid I'll turn all artsy on them and get impregnated by some mime or something. But that doesn't make sense either because we're FROM Europe, and I've been to the ACTUAL Europe and never gotten pregnant...

Maybe they're afraid I won't come back (which is the most likely scenario), but I don't know why they'd be afraid of that since
1) they don't seem to like me too much as it is
2) it would save them at least $10,000 a year in tuition and book expenses, not to mention what I eat and drink in this place
3) they could make money off of me being gone by renting out my room to... some loser who wants to live in the suburbs? Ok, scrap 3...
4) they're always complaining about me diagnosing them and analyzing them and playing my music too loud - and this would eliminate all of that
plus 5) my mother could lie to all of her friends and tell them I'd run away with a boy and no longer have to live with the shame of having a perpetually single daughter

I think my parents just like being arbitrary with me. They like reminding me that most things don't make sense, that most things won't make sense, and that I should stop trying to make sense of things. Maybe that's their 'life gift' to me. If I can get that through my thick skull, I have a feeling things will seem less frustrating if not more understandable.