For the Good of the Whole

I made a schedule for myself yesterday... a study schedule, so that my failing streak wouldn't repeat itself (although "failing streak" is kinda a misnomer since I haven't actually failed anything yet, and I did really well on one test... but I'll call it a failing streak anyway since it's more motivating that way)... According to the schedule, I'm supposed to be working on stats now. But I'm not. What does this tell you? I'll tell you what this tells you: it tells you that even when I TRY, even when I implement a time-honoured PROVEN tool, even when I motivate myself by telling myself that if I do what I'm supposed to, not only will I get the long-term gain of a good mark, but also the short term gain of a cookie (!), I still fail. I ask you, my dear compadres, what is wrong with me? (And Zeeshan, stop calling me fat. We get it. You said it. It's done now. Don't be bitter because of that letter I sent you... Omar helped too. I don't see you calling HIM fat.) And how do I fix it? HOW? Please, give me your study tips and suggestions so I can be smart like the rest of you... (haha. I crack myself up sometimes.)

In other but RELATED news, I've figured out that I have too many friends: They are mainly the things responsible for me not getting my work done. They call me at the most inopportune times, they show themselves and beg to be talked to with their "talk to me!!" looks just when I'm about to head for the library, and if I ever DO make it to the library, there are more friends there procrastinating and asking me to join in their procrastination. And that's just at school. Let us not forget the friends that fill my weekends with plans so that I have no time left to study, and that demand to see me weekday nights because they haven't seen me in "forever". I mean, I know I'm loveable, but can we FOCUS ON WHAT'S IMPORTANT PLEASE?
Now I know what you're all thinking: "But Dunja, our friendship with you IS important." And that's true. Friendships are probably the only thing that sustain us through life when everything else goes down the shitter. But too many friendships, as illustrated above, can be harmful. Just like everything else in life, friendship is only good in moderation. Therefore, I have decided that I'm going to have to cut some friends - this will be good for all of us, trust me. Think of the benefits: you'll have more time to study, you'll save on Birthday and Christmas gifts, you won't have to memorize new phone numbers and schedules of mine, you won't have to let me photocopy your notes or buy me stuff from Timmies (since it's on your way). No more accompanying anyone to the bathroom, or waiting for someone to get out of the bathroom if you can't accompany them (for whatever reason.) No more picking up the phone in the middle of your favourite show, no more having to call someone 'cause you said you would, no more listening to lame stories you weren't interested in hearing in the first place just so you get a turn to tell YOUR story... I mean, think of all the time you'll save!!
Now that I've completely sold you on the idea of cutting down on some friends, I'd like you to comment if you'd like to be removed from my "friends" list. Your requests shall be filled on a first come, first served basis. I'm assuming there will be huge demand, but if there isn't, I shall have to cut some friends that just aren't cutting it (no pun intended) myself... please, don't make this any more difficult then it already is: Comment, for the good of the whole!