Happy Valentine's Day! (But I Love You the Other 364 Days of the Year Too!)
Valentine's Day: so dreaded, so anticipated, so emotionally charged. So positive a message that gets lost faster than a pretzel in the massive multiple folds of *insert your name here*'s mom's dough-like torso.
Valentine's day was originally supposed to be about some priest (or something) in Spain (or something) that loved some girl and sent her a letter (or something). Note: My only formal education on the origin of the holiday occurred in the third grade, long before I cared to pay attention to much more than how much candy was being deposited into the tiny boxes we had spent a week crafting (because my teacher was a lazy-ass moron who couldn't be bothered to teach us anything useful, unless you find that glueing glitter and little red hearts onto a box is a useful skill to have... in which case I have to wonder about your hobbies). Also, this lesson about amazing passionate love and devotion was being told by a woman who had proven herself delusional on more than one occasion (she tried to teach the class Scottish Dancing once, and her only instruction was "This music is from MY homeland!" as if though that statement at the right intensity was magically going to motivate us going in the right direction and understanding what this wheezing noise emitting from the tape deck was). So naturally, I didn't pay the story much heed. In fact, pretty much everything I "learned" in the third grade I decided to disregard as I was almost positive the (mis)information was a product of Ms. Campbell's flights of fancy, and this is why I cannot write in Cursive (among other things - yes, I blame the system).
Anyway, what the holiday was originally about (although I'm not sure what that was, exactly) has gotten morphed. (I know this because every holiday has - take Christmas - which turned from the Birth of Christ (baby in manger) into a fat man in a red suit squeezing down a chimney to deliver presents under an evergreen tree decorated with lights and glass orbs, - and Easter - which turned from Our Lord and Savior being persecuted and crusified into rabbits laying chocolate eggs inside your house and delivering more presents along the way... WTF? Did the whole (Christian) world take a giant hit of crack at some point and never come out of their high mental state?)
Apparently so. Because now Valentine's Day has turned into the one day a year you're supposed to show people you care. And this isn't the "give your sweety a hug, ask them how their day was" caring. Or the "I will come pick you up at 4 in the morning because you are drunk off your ass on an intersection somewhere in downtown Toronto" caring. Or even the "I shall hold back your hair while you puke because we got drunk because you were trying to get over that asshole who dumped you for that dumbass skinny hoe" caring. Because these types of caring aren't Valentine's Day caring. No, real caring isn't measured by how "there" you are for someone throughout the year anymore, but how much you spend on them on trivialities that don't mean anything on one day a year. This is the "Go out and max out your credit card on chocolate and flowers and stuffed animals (because these three things are supposed to be the ultimate symbols of love and devotion - just as a rabbit laying chocolate eggs somehow symbolizes the Passion of Christ, and an obese diabetic symbolizes His birth) - and don't do it just for your sweetheart - do it for all of your co-workers, your classmates, your teachers, your neighbours, your family, your friends, your pets, your internet pals, your aquaintances, complete strangers... just... buy cards that say things like 'You're swell!' and hand them out. To everyone. Because this is the day of love. And you love everyone. Don't you? At least today..." holiday. And this makes it easy.
It's easy to care for someone one day out of the year. To go out and buy flowers and give them to someone. It's hard to be there for someone 24/7, 365. And that's exactly why Valentine's Day is the single most prosperous holiday for businesses of the entire YEAR (it takes the cake over Christmas!) Because Valentine's Day makes loving someone convenient.
Only problem is, last time I checked, love had nothing to do with convenience. In fact, love can be more likened to ultimate sacrifice. Or am I just being dramatic?
I've thought about this a lot over the years, and I always blamed my unfavourable view on bitterness about being alone on this big day - not having anyone to send out a song to me over the radio, or buy me flowers, or plushies...
But this year I got the plushy and the candy. So it can't be bitterness. It has to be a general distaste for trying to make something wonderful into something doable in our hurried lives. I mean, isn't it even a little sad that the only time we ever hear sweet slow-song dedications anymore IS on this one day a year? Don't people ever just want to make one another feel special? Do we really need a holiday for it? And isn't it the same with any other holiday for that matter? Birthdays? I mean, "I like you all year round, but now on this one day I have to prove it by BUYING you something"? I mean, it's a nice gesture - but it's sad when nice gestures have to be institutionalized, socialized, perscribed, taught in schools... no?
I don't know. Maybe it's just me. I mean, I don't mind sweet gestures on Valentine's Day. I think they're admirable. I think they're wonderful. As long as they are a cross-situational representation of what you do for someone on a regular basis anyway - and not a shortcut or a cop-out or something forced, as I fear they often are.
On that note, since you all know that I love you on a regular basis, and this isn't anything forced or a shortcut of any kind ("If you need me, call me, no matter where you are, no matter how faaaar..."): Happy Valentine's Day!
Valentine's day was originally supposed to be about some priest (or something) in Spain (or something) that loved some girl and sent her a letter (or something). Note: My only formal education on the origin of the holiday occurred in the third grade, long before I cared to pay attention to much more than how much candy was being deposited into the tiny boxes we had spent a week crafting (because my teacher was a lazy-ass moron who couldn't be bothered to teach us anything useful, unless you find that glueing glitter and little red hearts onto a box is a useful skill to have... in which case I have to wonder about your hobbies). Also, this lesson about amazing passionate love and devotion was being told by a woman who had proven herself delusional on more than one occasion (she tried to teach the class Scottish Dancing once, and her only instruction was "This music is from MY homeland!" as if though that statement at the right intensity was magically going to motivate us going in the right direction and understanding what this wheezing noise emitting from the tape deck was). So naturally, I didn't pay the story much heed. In fact, pretty much everything I "learned" in the third grade I decided to disregard as I was almost positive the (mis)information was a product of Ms. Campbell's flights of fancy, and this is why I cannot write in Cursive (among other things - yes, I blame the system).
Anyway, what the holiday was originally about (although I'm not sure what that was, exactly) has gotten morphed. (I know this because every holiday has - take Christmas - which turned from the Birth of Christ (baby in manger) into a fat man in a red suit squeezing down a chimney to deliver presents under an evergreen tree decorated with lights and glass orbs, - and Easter - which turned from Our Lord and Savior being persecuted and crusified into rabbits laying chocolate eggs inside your house and delivering more presents along the way... WTF? Did the whole (Christian) world take a giant hit of crack at some point and never come out of their high mental state?)
Apparently so. Because now Valentine's Day has turned into the one day a year you're supposed to show people you care. And this isn't the "give your sweety a hug, ask them how their day was" caring. Or the "I will come pick you up at 4 in the morning because you are drunk off your ass on an intersection somewhere in downtown Toronto" caring. Or even the "I shall hold back your hair while you puke because we got drunk because you were trying to get over that asshole who dumped you for that dumbass skinny hoe" caring. Because these types of caring aren't Valentine's Day caring. No, real caring isn't measured by how "there" you are for someone throughout the year anymore, but how much you spend on them on trivialities that don't mean anything on one day a year. This is the "Go out and max out your credit card on chocolate and flowers and stuffed animals (because these three things are supposed to be the ultimate symbols of love and devotion - just as a rabbit laying chocolate eggs somehow symbolizes the Passion of Christ, and an obese diabetic symbolizes His birth) - and don't do it just for your sweetheart - do it for all of your co-workers, your classmates, your teachers, your neighbours, your family, your friends, your pets, your internet pals, your aquaintances, complete strangers... just... buy cards that say things like 'You're swell!' and hand them out. To everyone. Because this is the day of love. And you love everyone. Don't you? At least today..." holiday. And this makes it easy.
It's easy to care for someone one day out of the year. To go out and buy flowers and give them to someone. It's hard to be there for someone 24/7, 365. And that's exactly why Valentine's Day is the single most prosperous holiday for businesses of the entire YEAR (it takes the cake over Christmas!) Because Valentine's Day makes loving someone convenient.
Only problem is, last time I checked, love had nothing to do with convenience. In fact, love can be more likened to ultimate sacrifice. Or am I just being dramatic?
I've thought about this a lot over the years, and I always blamed my unfavourable view on bitterness about being alone on this big day - not having anyone to send out a song to me over the radio, or buy me flowers, or plushies...
But this year I got the plushy and the candy. So it can't be bitterness. It has to be a general distaste for trying to make something wonderful into something doable in our hurried lives. I mean, isn't it even a little sad that the only time we ever hear sweet slow-song dedications anymore IS on this one day a year? Don't people ever just want to make one another feel special? Do we really need a holiday for it? And isn't it the same with any other holiday for that matter? Birthdays? I mean, "I like you all year round, but now on this one day I have to prove it by BUYING you something"? I mean, it's a nice gesture - but it's sad when nice gestures have to be institutionalized, socialized, perscribed, taught in schools... no?
I don't know. Maybe it's just me. I mean, I don't mind sweet gestures on Valentine's Day. I think they're admirable. I think they're wonderful. As long as they are a cross-situational representation of what you do for someone on a regular basis anyway - and not a shortcut or a cop-out or something forced, as I fear they often are.
On that note, since you all know that I love you on a regular basis, and this isn't anything forced or a shortcut of any kind ("If you need me, call me, no matter where you are, no matter how faaaar..."): Happy Valentine's Day!
posted by captain obvious at 11:24 p.m.
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