medium rare
Can we please talk about how necessary last night was?
There are a couple things people in general need to understand about me: 1) maturity is not my strong suit, and 2) if you piss me off, there is no coming off the black list. Ever. You can just fuck off and die, because honestly, it takes a lot to get written up there in the first place.
As pertaining to 1): Boys scare the living crap out of me. I don't care if it was his idea x a billion to meet me, I'm not going to be the first one to say hi. Even if it is the mature thing to do. Unless I'm drunk. Which I wasn't.
The way I see it: It was his idea, he should initiate. On top of that (proper etiquette) point, I'm not nearly as brave as I make it seem, and I'm afraid I will say hi and he'll laugh. And point. And possibly even throw his drink in my face.
I understand the likelihood of this happening is low, but people win the lottery all the time, and those odds are like 13 million to one. Somehow, even with odds as low as those, I wouldn't want to stand out in a lightning storm holding a metal pole. So I'm certainly not going to go talk to the guy.
As pertaining to number 2): This "love me or leave me alone" attitude isn't about revenge or punishment. An eye for an eye and the whole world goes eye-less. Or something. This is just about "live and let live"ing.
If you've pissed me off or hurt me, or a combination, cool. Live your life, and let me live mine. You chose to cut me out, so don't interrupt my flow with "friendly" small-talk that I recognize as fake since you've STOMPED ALL OVER ME IN THE PAST and smiles I interpret as leers because you've been a complete asshole to me before. As far as I'm concerned, everyone starts out with a blank slate, but once you've made a choice about me and the negative role you're going to play in my life, in the process, you've also outlined my course of action for me. There is no (more) room for toxic persons in this girl's head. There will be no attempts at re-building a bridge you burned on my end, so do me a favour and stop looking for cooperation. Should've thought about it before you torched it. Learn for next time, with the NEXT person. Because this one is gone.
I wish things weren't that way in my head, but they are. And that's not changing. So just do me a favour and be consistent. If you've decided to be an asshole, don't try to back-paddle. You made your choice.
On a sidenote:
"Is he cute?"
"Well, um, yeah, if you're into that kinda 'not-cute-at-all' look..."
"You coach soccer? What, like little kids?"
"Medium..."
There are a couple things people in general need to understand about me: 1) maturity is not my strong suit, and 2) if you piss me off, there is no coming off the black list. Ever. You can just fuck off and die, because honestly, it takes a lot to get written up there in the first place.
As pertaining to 1): Boys scare the living crap out of me. I don't care if it was his idea x a billion to meet me, I'm not going to be the first one to say hi. Even if it is the mature thing to do. Unless I'm drunk. Which I wasn't.
The way I see it: It was his idea, he should initiate. On top of that (proper etiquette) point, I'm not nearly as brave as I make it seem, and I'm afraid I will say hi and he'll laugh. And point. And possibly even throw his drink in my face.
I understand the likelihood of this happening is low, but people win the lottery all the time, and those odds are like 13 million to one. Somehow, even with odds as low as those, I wouldn't want to stand out in a lightning storm holding a metal pole. So I'm certainly not going to go talk to the guy.
As pertaining to number 2): This "love me or leave me alone" attitude isn't about revenge or punishment. An eye for an eye and the whole world goes eye-less. Or something. This is just about "live and let live"ing.
If you've pissed me off or hurt me, or a combination, cool. Live your life, and let me live mine. You chose to cut me out, so don't interrupt my flow with "friendly" small-talk that I recognize as fake since you've STOMPED ALL OVER ME IN THE PAST and smiles I interpret as leers because you've been a complete asshole to me before. As far as I'm concerned, everyone starts out with a blank slate, but once you've made a choice about me and the negative role you're going to play in my life, in the process, you've also outlined my course of action for me. There is no (more) room for toxic persons in this girl's head. There will be no attempts at re-building a bridge you burned on my end, so do me a favour and stop looking for cooperation. Should've thought about it before you torched it. Learn for next time, with the NEXT person. Because this one is gone.
I wish things weren't that way in my head, but they are. And that's not changing. So just do me a favour and be consistent. If you've decided to be an asshole, don't try to back-paddle. You made your choice.
On a sidenote:
"Is he cute?"
"Well, um, yeah, if you're into that kinda 'not-cute-at-all' look..."
"You coach soccer? What, like little kids?"
"Medium..."
posted by captain obvious at 1:33 p.m.
4 Comments:
Living in a world of black and white must suck.
Drama Queen anyone?!
Drama Queen? You couldn't be more wrong if you said that the Sun revolves around the Earth.
Dunja is the catch of a lifetime
To anonymous #1: My world isn't black and white. My stance on people who hurt me irrevocably is. With good reason, too: there's no sense in letting something like that happen twice.
To anonymous #2: I do tend to over-react occasionally, yes. Find me one person who doesn't, ever.
To anonymous #3: Thank you, but you really are way too kind. Realistically, I'm the catch of... maybe a month. :P
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