bringing out the worst

So yesterday I hit a pole with the car in an EMPTY parking lot. I blame Tomal. He was distracting me with words and stuff. And I also blame the fact that the parking lot was empty. If it had cars in it, I probably would've been paying more attention. But how do you miss a pole? I'm such a dolt.

Good thing my dad hasn't noticed the scratch. Yet.

Today was a good day considering the circumstances. I had a midterm that I'd spent virtually 4 hours studying for. I went over only 46% of the material, I'd estimate, for the first time ever.
I think I passed.
I would've aced it had I actually studied.

Therein lies the rub.

I would've studied yesterday had I been able to breathe.

That's probably not true.

I would've found another excuse not to study, but the fact that I couldn't breathe definitely came in handy as a reason.

I couldn't breathe because I had just gained ultimate closure in soundwave form.
But today was a new day. And I got through it just fine, breathing like my life depended on it. I even smiled quite a bit.

I'm going to be absolutely, positively fine. Better, actually, then ever before.

It's like a giant weight is slowly getting lifted off, and it feels great to rediscover myself and things and people I'd have sworn were gone forever.

I, too, can be funny, and friendly, and fun to be around. Those fundamental truths had gotten lost somewhere in all the sadness and anger and drama, and I'd convinced myself who I became was who I'd been all along, and the way I had to be. But that isn't true. I can be more. I am more.

Today was a good day.