barely worth getting out of bed for
It's early and I'm tired and you should never eat re-heated shrimp or give funny servers at Red Lobster your phone number. You should also never tell Paul you think the guy staring at you in the white shirt is cute. He will embarrass you and leave you hanging, your mouth gaping open like a fishy fish.
You should never go to a UofT (St. George) houseparty. It will be all nerds. And slutty (nerdy - oxymoron?) action on the couches (and later on your coat in the bedroom.) Trust.
The highlight will be the dancing. Oh, the dancing. With short people.
And don't ever agree to do a 7 hour shift the day after you worked a 9 hour shift at my place of work. You will regret it. Especially when you're in a grocery store checkout line and a 70-year-old man starts talking to you about Kevin Costner and Angelina Jolie and you've been dealing with this sort of thing for the past 48 hours. You'll have to try really hard not to punch him in the face. It's barely worth the effort.
Also, the sight of your (my) boss will start to make you want to hurl.
Oh, and don't go to a clothing show with Nelly. Because she will turn the ONE good thing about it (this thing happened to have a really great smile) into something, quite literally, gay. And then you'll have nothing to live for.
Just... take my advice. Ok?
But if you insist on being anti-my advice... at least watch out for guys with caution tape tied around their heads. They'd do you... and they'll moon you, no questions asked, no warnings given.
Go ahead and have a MARS martini though.
Those, I have nothing against.
In fact, I could go for one right now... maybe two.
You should never go to a UofT (St. George) houseparty. It will be all nerds. And slutty (nerdy - oxymoron?) action on the couches (and later on your coat in the bedroom.) Trust.
The highlight will be the dancing. Oh, the dancing. With short people.
And don't ever agree to do a 7 hour shift the day after you worked a 9 hour shift at my place of work. You will regret it. Especially when you're in a grocery store checkout line and a 70-year-old man starts talking to you about Kevin Costner and Angelina Jolie and you've been dealing with this sort of thing for the past 48 hours. You'll have to try really hard not to punch him in the face. It's barely worth the effort.
Also, the sight of your (my) boss will start to make you want to hurl.
Oh, and don't go to a clothing show with Nelly. Because she will turn the ONE good thing about it (this thing happened to have a really great smile) into something, quite literally, gay. And then you'll have nothing to live for.
Just... take my advice. Ok?
But if you insist on being anti-my advice... at least watch out for guys with caution tape tied around their heads. They'd do you... and they'll moon you, no questions asked, no warnings given.
Go ahead and have a MARS martini though.
Those, I have nothing against.
In fact, I could go for one right now... maybe two.
posted by captain obvious at 11:12 p.m.
3 Comments:
You wanted the guy to make a move, I gave him the chance to. Unfortunately, you just ran away!
Seems like a shitty week, thing's will get better.
awww pumpkin....i'm sendin you lots of love and kisses. i know i'm short but i can't help that (although i was NOT at the nerdy slut or slutty nerds party!!!)
xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxox
me
I think the correct phrase is "Aw muffin".
Also, there seems to be some confusion: I wasn't complaining. It hasn't been a bad week. Actually, it was pretty eventful. YEAH! I'm just handing out free advice. Free anything is great, really. Free advice is like... awesome.
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