PSY290: Guilty of Sexual Assault in the First Degree
I got raped by that physiology exam today. And before you get all huffy and offended about me using the term "rape" to describe an exam, let me just say that this was one of those things you truly had to be there for. And if you had been there, you'd agree it was rape, if not sodomy.
I swear, for the first half hour, I was convinced it was written in another language.
Ok, so I missed a few lectures.
Ok, so I missed every single lecture.
But I did the readings.
Doesn't that count for anything anymore?
Apparently not, because after the initial half hour, I figured out that it was written in English - but it was as if though the exam I had studied for had nothing whatsoever in common with the one I was writing. Not even general subject area. I asked the T.A. an hour into it to please tell me what exam this was, because I was suspicious of the "PSY290H5 - Physiological Psychology" on the front page. It looked oddly out of place - like someone was playing a mean practical joke and had forged a title page or something. The professor's name was no clue: "A. Fleming", but it's not like it would've been a clue anyway, since, as I've already mentioned, I hadn't gone to a single lecture... The T.A. assured me that I was in fact in the right room, writing the right exam. I didn't really believe her. She looked suspicious too - like an alien posing as a PSY290 T.A., but I figured I might as well go along with the jig and see where it took me - hopefully to a hidden camera show and an awaiting cash prize or all-expenses paid cruise - or both! (I actually had these thoughts during the exam - to let you in on how concentrated I was on answering the questions. It would've been pointless to concentrate because I DIDN'T KNOW WHAT THEY WERE TALKING ABOUT! I ended up doing the "Matching" section by filling in Cs for every single thing. Well... that's *one* guaranteed mark of 130...)
Alas, no such luck. I wrote some answers in the short-answer section in an attempt to be a good sport in case this was a made-for-tv special type dealy. 12 mark question: Compare and contrast the effects of male sex hormones on the preoptic area in male rats, female rats, male humans, and female humans. Also, discuss the major difference in sexual behaviour between female rats and female humans and the brain structure mediating it.
Uh... humans don't do it on all fours? Unless they're kinky? Refer to pg. 390 of assigned text for further details...
It's safe to say I blew that one...
So, on the bright side of things, at least I didn't get ACTUALLY raped.
I did get sexually harrassed though. When I ran into Oren today, he goes, "Did your boobs grow since Monday? Or are you wearing an extra bra?"
WTF?
I don't think we've had a single encounter in the past two weeks in which he hasn't made a comment about my boobs. I told him that was sexual harrassment and threatened to sue him. I even threatened him with witnesses - his friend. His friend goes, "Yeah, but they'd put me on the stand and say 'In your own words, describe what happened on the date of the alleged abuse.' And I'd be like 'Well, apparently Oren said something harrassing. But I don't know. I was really distracted by Dunja's boobs - wasn't paying much attention to anything else, really.'"
Then, in a completely failed attempt to make things better, Oren goes, "It's okay. I'm more of an ass guy anyway." WTF?
WTF? x A BILLION.
Where and how and WHY do these people always manage to find me?
I swear, for the first half hour, I was convinced it was written in another language.
Ok, so I missed a few lectures.
Ok, so I missed every single lecture.
But I did the readings.
Doesn't that count for anything anymore?
Apparently not, because after the initial half hour, I figured out that it was written in English - but it was as if though the exam I had studied for had nothing whatsoever in common with the one I was writing. Not even general subject area. I asked the T.A. an hour into it to please tell me what exam this was, because I was suspicious of the "PSY290H5 - Physiological Psychology" on the front page. It looked oddly out of place - like someone was playing a mean practical joke and had forged a title page or something. The professor's name was no clue: "A. Fleming", but it's not like it would've been a clue anyway, since, as I've already mentioned, I hadn't gone to a single lecture... The T.A. assured me that I was in fact in the right room, writing the right exam. I didn't really believe her. She looked suspicious too - like an alien posing as a PSY290 T.A., but I figured I might as well go along with the jig and see where it took me - hopefully to a hidden camera show and an awaiting cash prize or all-expenses paid cruise - or both! (I actually had these thoughts during the exam - to let you in on how concentrated I was on answering the questions. It would've been pointless to concentrate because I DIDN'T KNOW WHAT THEY WERE TALKING ABOUT! I ended up doing the "Matching" section by filling in Cs for every single thing. Well... that's *one* guaranteed mark of 130...)
Alas, no such luck. I wrote some answers in the short-answer section in an attempt to be a good sport in case this was a made-for-tv special type dealy. 12 mark question: Compare and contrast the effects of male sex hormones on the preoptic area in male rats, female rats, male humans, and female humans. Also, discuss the major difference in sexual behaviour between female rats and female humans and the brain structure mediating it.
Uh... humans don't do it on all fours? Unless they're kinky? Refer to pg. 390 of assigned text for further details...
It's safe to say I blew that one...
So, on the bright side of things, at least I didn't get ACTUALLY raped.
I did get sexually harrassed though. When I ran into Oren today, he goes, "Did your boobs grow since Monday? Or are you wearing an extra bra?"
WTF?
I don't think we've had a single encounter in the past two weeks in which he hasn't made a comment about my boobs. I told him that was sexual harrassment and threatened to sue him. I even threatened him with witnesses - his friend. His friend goes, "Yeah, but they'd put me on the stand and say 'In your own words, describe what happened on the date of the alleged abuse.' And I'd be like 'Well, apparently Oren said something harrassing. But I don't know. I was really distracted by Dunja's boobs - wasn't paying much attention to anything else, really.'"
Then, in a completely failed attempt to make things better, Oren goes, "It's okay. I'm more of an ass guy anyway." WTF?
WTF? x A BILLION.
Where and how and WHY do these people always manage to find me?
posted by captain obvious at 1:10 a.m.
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