See the pyramids along the Nile
Watch the sunrise on a tropic isle
Just remember darlin' all the while
You belong to me

See the market place in Old Algiers
Send me photographs and souvenirs
Just remember when a dream appears
You belong to me

I'll be so alone without you
Maybe you'll be lonesome too, and blue

Fly the ocean in a silver plane
See the jungle when it's wet with rain
Just remember 'til you're home again
You belong to me

I want someone to love me the way my grandfather loves my grandmother.

my friday night

I think this pretty much sums it up:


I wrote an email to Anja, something I hadn't done in a while.
I didn't get any Genetics questions done.
I spammed the UTMSU forums with crap.
I wrote an email to a real estate agent that works in my neighbourhood (don't ask), and applied for some tutoring job through the career center website with my NO RESUME.
I had a sesame-seed bagel, toasted, with cream cheese, a vanilla yogurt, and some apple juice.
I watched "Little Miss Sunshine" and cried.
I remembered that Paul is in Montreal this weekend, skiing, and so realized I had no one to go drinking with.
OMG Ashley quit today!!!!
She got a job at some place as a receptionist or something, and she quit Hollister! DO YOU KNOW WHAT THIS MEANS?!?!!?

I talked to Nick (manager - gigantor) about switching me over to the sales rep position because I'm getting super tired of my job that I've been doing for a year and that consists of folding clothes and is a total waste of my talents and abilities, and he said, "But Dunja, you're the only competent person we have working in the back. I don't think you realize what an asset you are." Then he said a bunch more stuff, something about "golden handcuffs", but I wasn't listening because I was too busy imagining all the ways I wanted to punch him in the face for being such a PRICK.
He said that he feels my pain about being bored of my job and reminded me that he does the same job every day, too, and that he's been doing it for over a year as well... and I wanted to yell, "YOU HAVE YOUR DEGREE! GO GET A BETTER JOB! I'M WAITING TO FINISH MINE!" And then I realized that even once I'm done my degree, the best I'll be able to do is what he's doing now... and it was really sad. In any event, nothing was resolved with the giant, so I decided it was time to look for a new job.
Also, my VISA bill is sitting pretty at $300, and I've carried over a balance for the last 2 months, and I'd REALLY like to stop that, so I need another job.

ON TUESDAY, JUDGE JUDY AND GLADYS WILL BOTH BE ON THE ELLEN SHOW. When she said this today, I was so happy I almost pissed myself.
Throw in the paraplegic from that first episode my sister and I ever saw, and you've got yourself the BEST SHOW IN THE KNOWN UNIVERSE!

I'm more excited about this then I was about the premiere of American Idol, and that's saying something.

Gigantor is from South Africa, and his dad is Dutch and his mom is Canadian. Go figure.

Can't sleep.

Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall
Humpty Dumpty had a great fall

Of the 8 computers currently visible to me (not counting my own), 2 are tuned into Facebook, otherwise known as the "All-Consuming, All-Powerful Time Waster Machine Extraordinaire"

Having spent the entire day at school, I realize that I miss running into people randomly. Kinda fun stuff running into folks from first year and catching up.
Seems that no one has a clue.

I'm not alone.

:)

2007

Change is about to happen in a big way.
I finally have some resolutions.

visit www.climatecrisis.net

Life is strange. The minute you get what you want, you start wanting something new; usually something that, up until a minute ago, was completely irrelevent.
I find myself sleeping for 12 hours a day so that I don't have to deal with the business of living more then absolutely necessary, and indulging every whim I happen to entertain for more than two seconds. Over the Christmas Break, my willpower has been exerted exactly zero times.
I want to think I'm doing nothing simply because I'm on holiday, and I finally can be doing nothing, but that's not true. I was doing nothing during the last semester as well, and my 70 in Ecology is proof. (This 70 is a direct result of the lab worth 5% I didn't hand in, and the other 3 labs I handed in 1-3 days late - the late penalty was 20% per day. The 70 I ended up with means I probably got an 80+ on the final exam. And since I got a 76 on the first midterm, and an 86 on the final presentation, this means if I'd just handed shit in on time, I could've had an 80, easy, in this class). I could've had an 80, but I don't. Because I was too busy self-handicapping and setting myself up for failure in the event I really sucked at Ecology to actually do any work and succeed.
The fact that I repeatedly sell myself short in the academic realm has got me looking at other things in my life, to see if this sort of self-handicapping attitude applies anywhere else. And lo and behold, it sure does.
I find myself reading into conversations with Spazzy far beyond any intended hidden meaning they might have held, and finding all sorts of patterns that probably don't hold any significance in reality and are just coincidentally there. I find myself working myself up over little things, getting all upset, and then confronting the clueless him about the emotions I'm feeling, that are mostly based on things I made up in my head. I find myself being snappy for no reason and picking fights over small things - almost willing him - daring him - to do the very thing I'm most afraid of - just leave.
I keep counting down the days until he realizes I have nothing to offer, and gets tired of putting up with my bullshit. I keep waiting for the other shoe to drop. This isn't a new phenomenon. Remember *ean?
I do it with my family, too. I push exactly the buttons I know I shouldn't push to get a reaction, and keep making the same mistakes over and over.

This insight isn't helping form a solution.
So what now? What's next?
How do I stop being so self-indulgent? How do I exercise my willpower to stop cushioning my ego pre-emptively from the bruises it might sustain if it's exposed to the truth? How do I let go and just jump in, get both hands dirty, and not look back?

I've never done it before, so I really don't know. Everything in my life thus far has just been me with lots and lots of padding on.

Children of Men is a really good movie.

Looks pretty cool.