*Drawers sliding open*
"Fucking assholes..."
*Drawers slamming shut*
"I can't believe these fucking assholes"
*More drawers sliding open*
"I can't believe it..."
*More drawers slamming shut*
"Fucking ASSHOLES!"

- My dad, getting ready for work the other morning, upon finding that my sister, my mother, and I had used up all of his razors for our purposes.

So my sister and I headed out and bought dad some razors. We wrapped them up in a "Happy Birthday" bag, and left them on the counter for dad, with a note:

"Hi Dad! This is for you! Love, The Fucking Assholes A.K.A. Mom, Dunja, & Sonja"

He thought it was hilarious.